Will I Ever?

Recently I have attended several concerts and musicals in the course of just one week. It’s so astounding when performers are at their tip-top shape. You can see that they are serious and they have dedicated their lives leading up to this very moment in time. All the work that went into it has finally paid off when the crowd stands and gives them a standing ovation. I can’t help but wonder where do I fit into this? Will I ever be there? Will I ever reach my full potential? When I search on YouTube, I find kids that have struck fame and money overnight, far beyond what I could ever imagine or hope in my entire lifetime. For instance, Rebecca Black thirteen years of age, wrote a simple song about Friday night and now has millions of views on one single video. Maybe it’s cause so many claim the song is horrible, but that’s besides the point. I’m sure many of us will never make the money she is making now. I look at myself and I see just a normal young man. Yeah, I’m only twenty now, but I’m old enough to know how fast time flies. Before I know it, I’ll start losing my curly black hair. Believe it or not, I’ve already found a couple of white hairs. I’ll be married with a wife and kids and then they’ll grow up and be where I once was. When I reach that point in time and look back at my life, I wonder what will I see. What will I have left behind?  I can’t count how many times in my life I ask myself, “will I ever?” Will I ever make an album? Will I ever be on TV? Will I ever change a life? Will I ever reach the millions? Will I ever be everything that God created me to be? The answer is — I don’t know. Yet, what I do know is that if you live your life with only questions and empty actions, you’ll find yourself with the most unmotivated attitude and unsatisfied hunger.  I find myself constantly hypnotized by this perspective that my future is separated from my today.  I say hypnotized because it’s almost as if I fall asleep. I often find myself apathetic towards college and slowly stop caring. Then when I’m not doing as well as I intended, my alarm clock rings and I wake up once again. It’s a dangerous place of complacency. You must constantly take steps towards your goal if you ever want to get there.

I’ve often heard my youth pastor say that if you could examine someone’s whole week, you would find what they really care about. You would also be able to tell if they will ever reach their dreams. If you don’t find a glimpse or a step toward their dream in their everyday life, then their dream will remain simply a dream.

Fear can paralyze anyone. It’s crippled me numerous times. I’ve been bombarded with thoughts that I will never be who I was meant to. Harassed with questions of “will I ever”? Yet, if all I do is sit and wonder, I’ll never venture to see what’s behind the door of the unknown.

So, will I ever? I don’t know– but make a move. Live the life you have now. Make everyday worth something. Take chances– and when you get knocked down, get back up again.

Isaiah 41:10
^“So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Side note (I know you may disagree but I’m just using it as an illustration) : When I tell people  I’m getting a motorcycle, they look at me with crazy, wide, eyes and bluntly tell me that I’m gonna die. Yet, they’ve never rode one themselves. Yes, they’ve all heard stories and so have I, but that’s not my point. The truth is, If I live my life immobilized by fear, letting worries or others’ remarks hold me down, I will never venture out into the world of the unknown where my dream becomes a reality. So I guess what I’m saying is, I’d hate to find myself seventy years of age, stuck in an old four-door-car, watching a motorcycle fly by.

Not My Cup of Tea

Not too long ago I was sick with a headache and nasal congestion.  Sometimes I wonder what’s the purpose of getting sick. Is God supposed to teach us something through it? Honestly, I don’t know. But God did actually show me something through a quite simple but powerful illustration. It went kind of like this:

I went to make a cup of tea and proceeded with the normal steps. Steamed some water, got the tea, and squeezed some honey. Then God hit me, “Why do you always add honey?”

“Because I like it?” I replied.

“That’s it. You always want it to taste sweeter. Why can’t you just drink it like it is?”

“What do you mean?” I questioned.

“When problems come at you, you always pray and ask me, ‘Lord can you make it sweeter? I don’t like the way it tastes. It’s bitter and unpleasant. It’s defiantly not my cup of tea.’ But sometimes I won’t make it sweeter. Sometimes you’ll  just have to drink it raw and bland like it is.”

Wow. I was speechless. How many times does life hit us and we so readily say “That’s not my cup of tea! This is not what I asked for Lord. Please, make it sweeter.” Yet, God doesn’t always take it away. Sometimes we just need to suck it up and drink it how it is.  But no matter how distasteful your cup of life may be, remember that God promises his grace and mercy.

Hebrews 4:16 “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”

When The Clock Stikes Twelve

The old grandfather clock chimes twelve times as it strikes midnight. Everyone joins together exchanging the phrase “Merry Christmas” with loving smiles and giggles. This is the scene that marks the start of the Christmas here at the Schmidt house. Everyone has proceeded to go to sleep. Well, everyone but me. I’m left with the phrase “Merry Christmas” ringing in my ear. As I watched everyone repeat the phrase to each other, I pondered the reason of why we say this. Of course it’s Christmas and it’s a tradition, but do we even know what it means? I researched this (a.k.a. Googled it) and looked for its meaning.  I found the typical information describing that “merry” means to be jolly or happy and “Christmas” is a holiday in remembrance of Christ’s birthday.  So correct me if I’m wrong, but when we wish someone a merry Christmas, we are hoping and encouraging them to have a great time celebrating Christ’s birthday.  If this is so, then I feel as though this phrase is rarely put in its proper place. Going back to the moment everyone wished each other a merry Christmas, the attention was focused on one another.  I know the words were spoken with no selfish intent and were simply said out of tradition, but were any of the words really directed towards celebrating His birthday? I can imagine Jesus sitting in the room with anticipation in his face as the clock winds down to twelve. He turns his ears our direction but no one sings him his birthday song. Not one of us even gave him a second of our time. All our “Merry Christmas’s” were simply to each other.

How many times does this phrase really miss the mark? I know none of us intentionally do it. We say it’s all in good spirit and most of us really know what Christmas is about. Yet if we truly do know all this, it really makes me question: when the clock strikes twelve, how come we never sing happy birthday to Jesus?

I am not condemning  or trying to make anyone feel guilty who greets someone with a “Merry Christmas” and does not think about Jesus. For, I fall prey to that as well. I only write to share my insight and to leave you with something to think about this Christmas.

So as you continue through this Christmas day and greet everyone with that familiar phrase, I pray that you may sincerely have a Merry Christmas.

“Some” to “All”

What does it mean to seek God? I often find when I tell others I’m struggling with making a decision, they give me the typical christian response and say “You need to seek God and pray.” Sometimes this answer frustrates me because I feel like lashing out and saying “Oh really? Thanks! I wouldn’t have came to that conclusion on my own.” Yet, thank God that there is a clear separation between my tongue and brain that blocks anyone from ever knowing this. That is until you read this blog I guess. But the better response to that answer might be to ask, “am I really seeking God?” Yet, even that only skims the surface.

Jeremiah 29:13 says,  “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

What does it mean to truly seek God with ALL your heart? I struggled with this question.  As I meditated on it God spoke to me and this is what I wrote:

Sometimes I think the pressures of life snap our limbs and force us to our knees. There we lie on our stomach with our face in the ground. Our strength has given out,  the white light of hope turns black, and the climate suddenly turns cold while our skin becomes brittle. We have no other choice but to cry for help.

I truly believe it’s in these moments that we seek God all our heart. We no longer have the option to put him anywhere else but first. Our halfhearted walk with God just won’t support or meet the demands required to survive in these conditions. We’re pushed to change from seeking God with “some” to “all” of our heart.  Extraordinary situations call for extraordinary changes.

Chasing What?

Being an undecided student can be very frustrating. Especially when you can’t register for next semester until you choose a major. Rampaging a search through careers and trying to put it all together can be a bit weary. I’ve prayed countless times asking for guidance but many prayers seem to go void. Yet, I know I should not go on pure feeling. It’s funny how I lose focus so easily along the way. I get caught up in researching what careers pay the top dollar and what majors are most pleasing to me. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with that, but when was this christian walk about pleasing me? Sure I’d love to make a great living and enjoy every step that comes with chasing it, but if God’s not in it then what is it worth? Yet, I know that if my heart is aligned with his, his plans will be mine and are bound to succeed. “Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed” Proverbs 16:3

I am learning to to thank God for the trials I face. Another verse that has encouraged me is Romans 5:3-4 “³ We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. ⁴ And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.”

I know that through this struggle, the Lord is developing me into someone I couldn’t be otherwise.